
A good week for Fine ‘Em Two Weeks Wages as there has been plenty of controversy in the world of football. We all know that the English Football Association has made Wayne Rooney a scapegoat, so I don’t want to waste my time on an archaic organization that should be overhauled or maybe made extinct, after all the dinosaurs died millions of years ago! There is something for everyone this week but if you feel that I have missed anything out or feel that someone from your team deserves to be nominated (for example, I know a very ardent Aston Villa fan that hates Gerard Houllier and is always asking why I haven’t put him up for nomination), then post a comment below or drop me an email – Colm@soccerbanter.org

Peter Crouch – I think a lot of people will agree with me on this one. I was actually watching the Inter v Schalke game but I couldn’t believe what the big man got up to after 14 minutes. Now the big ‘goat’ isn’t a cynical player, but an idiot he is. So, your team is playing against Real Madrid in the quarter-finals of the Champions League at the Santiago Bernabeu and you have a chance of causing an upset. Just think about that for a minute…..okay so Crouchy decides to lunge in on Sergio Ramos (and Ramos is a bit of a girl anyway) but an obvious booking. He then decides to lunge in on Marcelo after the ball is gone. Second Yellow, followed by Red! Nothing like letting your team of 10 battle against one of the premier teams in world football in an hostile environment for 76 minutes. Way to go Crouchy lad, you deserve this nomination. Worth about $125,000 per week (saves $250,000).
Neymar/Eric Hassli – Now these two lads were trying to be smart but from the evidence one can’t afford to be. So both have already been booked up until the time they tried to be smarter than the referee. Nowadays referees are trying to get into the limelight but by the letter of the law both had to go. Neymar, the Brazilian forward with the “hybrid Mohawk mullet – mulhawk” if you like was playing for Santos against Colo Colo in the Copa Libertadores and was already 2-0 up. In the 51st minute, Neymar scores an excellent goal to make it 3-0. He then proceeds to take a mask from someone in the crowd and don it and referee books him for an illegal celebration. Eric Hassli of Vancouver Whitecaps (do Canadians play soccer?) scores a penalty against the NE Revs and then proceeds to the crowd and throws his jersey in (see YouTube clip below). Did he get it back? No he was smart enough to wear a replica jersey underneath but the referee decided he was due a yellow card for removing his jersey. Smart when you think about it, but who is the idiot now? Neymar worth about $50,000 per week (saves $100,000); Eric Hassli worth about $1,000 per week (saves $2,000).
Neymar/Eric Hassli – Now these two lads were trying to be smart but from the evidence one can’t afford to be. So both have already been booked up until the time they tried to be smarter than the referee. Nowadays referees are trying to get into the limelight but by the letter of the law both had to go. Neymar, the Brazilian forward with the “hybrid Mohawk mullet – mulhawk” if you like was playing for Santos against Colo Colo in the Copa Libertadores and was already 2-0 up. In the 51st minute, Neymar scores an excellent goal to make it 3-0. He then proceeds to take a mask from someone in the crowd and don it and referee books him for an illegal celebration. Eric Hassli of Vancouver Whitecaps (do Canadians play soccer?) scores a penalty against the NE Revs and then proceeds to the crowd and throws his jersey in (see YouTube clip below). Did he get it back? No he was smart enough to wear a replica jersey underneath but the referee decided he was due a yellow card for removing his jersey. Smart when you think about it, but who is the idiot now? Neymar worth about $50,000 per week (saves $100,000); Eric Hassli worth about $1,000 per week (saves $2,000).

Carlton Cole – now a lot of players use social network sites such as Facebook & Twitter. Rio Ferdinand, Robbie Savage, Stuart Holden and Jack Wilshere to name but a few. The first three use it with a degree of sensibility, but little Wilshere uses it to rant at refs and does he get any bans? No. He is not the case of the nomination. Carlton Cole is or Carlton Michael Cole Okirie as he is known to his family. After a little research, I have found that Okirie is a Nigerian name, so pertaining from Africa. This kid who is African English started ‘tweeting’ racial slurs against Ghanaians. Now I don’t know if there is some sort of bad blood between fans of both nations but Carlton…Come On! You are a professional footballer that acts as a role model to young players everywhere (much the same as Wayne Rooney). You can’t go around ‘tweeting’ - "Immigration has surrounded the Wembley premises! I knew it was a trap! Hahahaha," He then proceeded to ‘tweet’ - "The only way to get out safely is to wear an England jersey and paint your face w/ the St. George's flag!” He tried to say it was a joke, but he wont be laughing when the two game ban that Rooney got comes trickling his way and how that could hurt West Ham. Worth about $100,000 per week (saves $200,000).
Sunderland Fan - This fan must be well and truly annoyed with his team right now. They are not playing well but to do what he/she is doing is totally absurd. To be honest with you, I thought this thing only happened in America. How times have changed. He/she has decided to sue the club for getting hit with a stray ball at an open training session. It was supposedly a wayward shot from Djibril Cisse (now at Panathinaikos) in 2008/09 that knocked the fan unconscious and the fan has now decided to sue. This can only start a precedent. I can imagine at Old Trafford every fan that gets hit with a Darron Gibson shot will be suing Manchester United (that will be a lot per game, not just per season!!!!) I think this legal action is worth about $300 per week (saves $600)
Sunderland Fan - This fan must be well and truly annoyed with his team right now. They are not playing well but to do what he/she is doing is totally absurd. To be honest with you, I thought this thing only happened in America. How times have changed. He/she has decided to sue the club for getting hit with a stray ball at an open training session. It was supposedly a wayward shot from Djibril Cisse (now at Panathinaikos) in 2008/09 that knocked the fan unconscious and the fan has now decided to sue. This can only start a precedent. I can imagine at Old Trafford every fan that gets hit with a Darron Gibson shot will be suing Manchester United (that will be a lot per game, not just per season!!!!) I think this legal action is worth about $300 per week (saves $600)