The glory days of Dahlin diving headers, aerial spinning goal celebrations of Brolin, and the flair of Larsson have turned into an emphasis on a refugee that was hardened in the projects of Rinkeby outside Stockholm whose only moment of brilliance was a fluke overhead flick against Italy in 2004 Euro's.
The only consolation of the Euro's is that we're paired with the most underperforming of nations over the last decade. Baguette Nation and Land Dentistry Excellence match-ups will stand us well. Despite many of my beloved Reds in each of their squads, I fancy seeing both Inglaterra and the Francoise getting knocked out in the group stages and the host nation and Socialist Yellow and Blue advancing against all pundits' predictions. If there's any chance of us advancing it's coming at the expense of yet another 3 Lions and Fluir de Lies default or if we get free kicks awarded in final 3rd and Sebastian Larsson gets his chance.
We may not win the Euro's, but we sure do have the stupidest looking coaching staff, with their sweat suit ensemble looking like a combination of the average NSCAA convention attendee and a Winnebago owner! Rest assured however, we will bring plenty of eye-candied blondes to TV camera's to zoom in on, Stockholm Olde Town tourist Viking hats, and we will certainly up the local commercial economy in the vodka industry. There are plenty of positives having the boys from Svea in this prestigious tournament, considered by many to be harder to win than the World Cup!
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