As athletes, nothing scares us more than a major injury. Not losing, not playing poorly and probably not even being cut. I think we fear injury most because we lose control over ourselves. I had always been fortunate enough to avoid any serious time out because of injury. Looking back, I cannot remember missing an entire game due to injury until my career started here at UMass. I broke my ankle in the final of a club tournament at 14 (and that was my most extensive prior injury) but even then I don't think that I missed any games - and I know that I finished the one that it happened in. As my previous blogs described and covered, I broke my nose and an orbital bone in my face early last season, causing me to miss a few games. However, I now know that any broken bone is usually a more desirable injury.
More desirable than what, you might ask? Well, almost three months ago I tore my ACL; every athlete's worst nightmare. It happened on a routine play, in a small sided game, during our last practice before exams. I was chasing down a ball - like I have a thousand times - but this time it was just one slight slip and a turn and pop - I knew right away that it was bad. So, now I've learned the hard way that a broken bone heals much faster than torn ligaments or cartilage and that the work and rehab that is essential after ACL surgery is far more difficult, and painful, than actually tearing the damn thing itself!
More desirable than what, you might ask? Well, almost three months ago I tore my ACL; every athlete's worst nightmare. It happened on a routine play, in a small sided game, during our last practice before exams. I was chasing down a ball - like I have a thousand times - but this time it was just one slight slip and a turn and pop - I knew right away that it was bad. So, now I've learned the hard way that a broken bone heals much faster than torn ligaments or cartilage and that the work and rehab that is essential after ACL surgery is far more difficult, and painful, than actually tearing the damn thing itself!
I am now one month post-op and have come a long way from the days immediately after my surgery. My Surgeon (Dr James O'Halloran) grafted a piece of my hamstring with a small amount of harvested cadaver ligament to reconstruct both my ACL bundles. Not quite what God gave me, but according to my Doc, the next best thing! Any person that has had ACL and meniscus surgery will tell you that the first week after surgery is insufferable. I was literally immobile, stuck on crutches (or a wheelchair) and in a huge brace that seemed to smother my entire leg. The pain was constant and severe and I found myself getting pretty nauseous from the prescription pain meds. I slept, watched TV, drank a lot of smoothies and worried about the fact that I was missing my first week of classes. At this point in my recovery, I was almost certain that I would never be able to walk again, let alone play soccer.
I began therapy in Week 2, once I was back at school, and was I was utterly shocked at my new knee's limitations. My first exercises were actually just flexing my quad and hamstring, both of which I had trouble doing. Next was a leg rise. Each time the trainer would tell me to attempt a straight leg raise, which consists of just picking up my leg while lying flat, I felt instantly sick to my stomach. This early activity was by far my least favorite part of that first few days of rehab. What was most disappointing was that it seemed that my leg muscles had actually forgotten how to work properly. I would tell those muscles to lift my leg, but nothing would happen. That first session I could barely lift my leg an inch off the table. I had so much frustration that I cried a little (I will admit it!) But my leg simply refused to go any higher. I guess that was the real low point for me.
I began therapy in Week 2, once I was back at school, and was I was utterly shocked at my new knee's limitations. My first exercises were actually just flexing my quad and hamstring, both of which I had trouble doing. Next was a leg rise. Each time the trainer would tell me to attempt a straight leg raise, which consists of just picking up my leg while lying flat, I felt instantly sick to my stomach. This early activity was by far my least favorite part of that first few days of rehab. What was most disappointing was that it seemed that my leg muscles had actually forgotten how to work properly. I would tell those muscles to lift my leg, but nothing would happen. That first session I could barely lift my leg an inch off the table. I had so much frustration that I cried a little (I will admit it!) But my leg simply refused to go any higher. I guess that was the real low point for me.
Just a day later I could do 3 sets of 10, raising my leg a few feet in the air. What a difference a day makes!! I could now actually foresee myself at least walking again, although I still had trouble picturing myself back on a soccer field. Within another week, I couldn't remember why the straight leg raises were so hard for me. I could blow through them with ease and this gave me great satisfaction and an understanding that I was actually healing. I found that I barely had any flexion at all and that I had lost some of my extension after the surgery. I had been told from my doctor and my trainer that getting 100% of extension back is the hardest and most crucial part of my early rehab. The thought that I could lose this forever scared me half to death, so I was in my room every night, with textbooks under my ankle, pushing down on my leg to get it back and fortunately enough. I was successful.
I had dissolvable stitches in my incisions, so a little after 2 weeks I was able to remove the strips off the skin and actually see what my new knee looked like. Of course it was still pretty swollen and didn't quite look like a knee yet, but what surprised me, and everyone else, most was my lack of scars. I definitely owe my doctor a huge hug the next time I see him! At a brief glance they are barely noticeable, something that I am very grateful for.
I had dissolvable stitches in my incisions, so a little after 2 weeks I was able to remove the strips off the skin and actually see what my new knee looked like. Of course it was still pretty swollen and didn't quite look like a knee yet, but what surprised me, and everyone else, most was my lack of scars. I definitely owe my doctor a huge hug the next time I see him! At a brief glance they are barely noticeable, something that I am very grateful for.
My rehab has continued to progress and my knee, but especially my leg, feels a million times stronger. My meniscus repair however has made my therapy a lot more conservative and recovery somewhat slower. A typical ACL patient, at a month post-op, would begin to ride a stationary bike and walk without crutches. However, I am still stuck with the brace and crutches for 2 more weeks to allow the cartilage to fully heal and I am restricted to no more than 90 degrees flexion. I'm about ready to burn the brace and crutches, but I know that in the end I will be happy I didn't rush my recovery and suffer a setback. Still, the day I am rid of this awful brace will be a very very happy one.
On the plus side, I can now bend my knee enough to allow for me to fit in the auditorium seats in my lectures - and I have caught up with all my classes!! I have the luxury of being able to go to therapy every day (sometimes twice), and I have really started to look forward to those sessions because with each day at rehab I can accomplish more and more. In just 2 weeks I should be able to walk on my own, something I couldn't even fathom doing in those terrible days right after my surgery. Most importantly, I now believe that I will be back before next season and ready to play again.
It has been a hard first month, and sometimes the hardest part is sitting on the sidelines and not being a part of our regular training and playing (but still getting up at 5:30 am to support my teammates). The next month will bring new challenges. If you have read my blog before, you know that I am no great fan of weights, stationary bikes, treadmills or elliptical machines. But that is where I will be spending lots of time for my rehab. It is also the start of our spring season and I don't know how well I will handle not being able to play. I hated my time out in the fall, and this will be even harder, but I have a goal to be ready by the start of pre-season and that means one month down and five to go!!!
On the plus side, I can now bend my knee enough to allow for me to fit in the auditorium seats in my lectures - and I have caught up with all my classes!! I have the luxury of being able to go to therapy every day (sometimes twice), and I have really started to look forward to those sessions because with each day at rehab I can accomplish more and more. In just 2 weeks I should be able to walk on my own, something I couldn't even fathom doing in those terrible days right after my surgery. Most importantly, I now believe that I will be back before next season and ready to play again.
It has been a hard first month, and sometimes the hardest part is sitting on the sidelines and not being a part of our regular training and playing (but still getting up at 5:30 am to support my teammates). The next month will bring new challenges. If you have read my blog before, you know that I am no great fan of weights, stationary bikes, treadmills or elliptical machines. But that is where I will be spending lots of time for my rehab. It is also the start of our spring season and I don't know how well I will handle not being able to play. I hated my time out in the fall, and this will be even harder, but I have a goal to be ready by the start of pre-season and that means one month down and five to go!!!
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