While I was in Portland a couple of weeks ago, I made a stop in Powell’s bookstore. In case you didn’t know, Powell’s is the largest chain of independent bookstores in the country. The store I went to in Portland was a labyrinth of books, to the point where I was almost overwhelmed. I had been meaning to purchase the book John Wooden on Leadership, but the bookstore had so many different sections that John Wooden’s books were scattered throughout the store. I started my search in the athletic section, and I found John Wooden on Mentoring. I figured if the bookstore didn’t have John Wooden on Leadership (They actually did, a few thousand books away) then I would settle for this book. If you have a chance, read it. You won’t regret it. Now bear with me for this blog, because I am going to bounce around to a couple different books, but I promise it will all tie together. Lets begin with John Wooden on Mentoring.
Mentor is an interesting word. It is one of those rare words that can be both a noun and a verb. As a noun, it can be a person, such as a coach or a fellow teammate, and as a verb, it can mean to tutor or to educate. Now contrary to popular belief, a mentor does not have to be someone older than you. Sometimes, the best mentors that we have are people our age that we interact with on a daily basis, such as our teammates. Wooden was a great mentor to his players through the words he spoke, but more importantly through the way he carried himself and acted on a daily basis. Now lets jump to John Wooden on Leadership.
Mentor is an interesting word. It is one of those rare words that can be both a noun and a verb. As a noun, it can be a person, such as a coach or a fellow teammate, and as a verb, it can mean to tutor or to educate. Now contrary to popular belief, a mentor does not have to be someone older than you. Sometimes, the best mentors that we have are people our age that we interact with on a daily basis, such as our teammates. Wooden was a great mentor to his players through the words he spoke, but more importantly through the way he carried himself and acted on a daily basis. Now lets jump to John Wooden on Leadership.
In this book, John Wooden defines “being successful” as being the best player you can be. Being successful is something that cannot be measured by wins, goals, starts, clean sheets, or championships. The true definition of being successful, according to Wooden, means that you did everything in your power to be the best that you could be. That’s all that anyone can ever ask of a player.
I will be the first to admit, I used to be the kind of player who cared too much. During training, I’d get concerned if a player who played my position was doing well. I’d begin thinking about how he would be starting over me in the next game and began to have negative thoughts about how I’d tell my friends and family I wasn’t playing on Friday night. I’d overanalyze my own performance because I wanted to start so badly. It’s only now that I’ve begun to realize that this was a horrible habit of mine that was crippling my game. The only person’s performance I can control is my own, and concentrating on anything else is merely taking away from me being the best I can be that day.
It’s difficult to fix habits like these on our own. In the Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg writes that, “For a habit to stay changed, people must believe change is possible. And most often, that belief only emerges with the help of a group.” You can read about playing confidently and having self-belief, but in the moment that you are playing in a game, old habits of negative thoughts and uncertainty can take hold and negate the positivity you tried to play with. Now lets go back to the verb mentoring.
I will be the first to admit, I used to be the kind of player who cared too much. During training, I’d get concerned if a player who played my position was doing well. I’d begin thinking about how he would be starting over me in the next game and began to have negative thoughts about how I’d tell my friends and family I wasn’t playing on Friday night. I’d overanalyze my own performance because I wanted to start so badly. It’s only now that I’ve begun to realize that this was a horrible habit of mine that was crippling my game. The only person’s performance I can control is my own, and concentrating on anything else is merely taking away from me being the best I can be that day.
It’s difficult to fix habits like these on our own. In the Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg writes that, “For a habit to stay changed, people must believe change is possible. And most often, that belief only emerges with the help of a group.” You can read about playing confidently and having self-belief, but in the moment that you are playing in a game, old habits of negative thoughts and uncertainty can take hold and negate the positivity you tried to play with. Now lets go back to the verb mentoring.
If you really want to become the best player you can be, you need to be confident, determined, and oozing of self-belief. But this is difficult to achieve on our own. College soccer can be tough mentally, especially on the men’s side. In the heat of the moment, teammates can snap at each other and lose their heads because they are extremely competitive and want to win. I believe it is possible to keep this competitive desire to win, but maintain a positive environment that fosters and encourages confident and creative play. And the cool thing is, you don’t have to be a captain on your team to make a difference.
My challenge to you is this. This season, seek out someone else on your team that you can be a mentor to. Encourage each other during training; after training, discuss three things they did well in training and one thing you want them to improve on. There are a couple of players on my team at Fairfield that I’ve begun to “mentor” and try to help them improve their football brain. By helping them, I’ve helped myself reinforce my own beliefs about being positive and believing in yourself. You won’t see life altering changes overnight, but I can tell you that I’ve seen a lot of improvement in these players from when we first started preseason, and I personally think I’m playing with the most confidence I’ve ever had since I’ve been at Fairfield. Start building your confidence in preseason and carry it with you into your season. Start being successful right now.
If anyone wants to reach me or ask me anything about playing or anything I’ve talked about in my blog, you can reach me at mattdanaher@gmail.com
My challenge to you is this. This season, seek out someone else on your team that you can be a mentor to. Encourage each other during training; after training, discuss three things they did well in training and one thing you want them to improve on. There are a couple of players on my team at Fairfield that I’ve begun to “mentor” and try to help them improve their football brain. By helping them, I’ve helped myself reinforce my own beliefs about being positive and believing in yourself. You won’t see life altering changes overnight, but I can tell you that I’ve seen a lot of improvement in these players from when we first started preseason, and I personally think I’m playing with the most confidence I’ve ever had since I’ve been at Fairfield. Start building your confidence in preseason and carry it with you into your season. Start being successful right now.
If anyone wants to reach me or ask me anything about playing or anything I’ve talked about in my blog, you can reach me at mattdanaher@gmail.com
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