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Soccer Banter

Fine 'Em Two Weeks Wages

9/27/2011

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Much has been said about the way that Stoke City play, but it can’t be said that they don’t get the job done. United, Chelsea and Liverpool have gone to the Britannia Stadium and have failed to win. They don’t play beautiful football, but they do enough to get a result. As a result, Messrs Ferguson, Villa-Boas and Dalglish have all complained about the style of play, but it is getting Stoke points and in the case of Liverpool, 3 points.  There has also been talk from some managers, that international friendlies are useless. I totally agree. International football kills the soccer calendar in Europe, but here in the States they let there international players go and carry on. Fair play to them.  Another thing that annoyed me this week, was Colleen Rooney’s Twitter post on Friday night. Now I am an advocate of Twitter, but Colleen lets keep what you and Wazza are doing on a Friday night before a game between yourselves.

Back to this week’s award winners.

Alex Lawless (Luton Town) – Give me an I, a D, an I, an O a T, what does it spell. Yes you guessed it: Idiot. So Alex Lawless who plays for non-league Luton Town was so annoyed this past weekend during half-time of his team’s game against former team, York City, he did not re-appear for the second half. Why? I hear you ask. He broke his hand by punching a wall during the interval.  I understand the passion that these players have, but to know that if you punch the wall hard enough, you will injure yourself.  He has ruled himself out of contention for a place for a month or maybe more. Nice way to endear yourself to your fans, but not so your teammates.  Earns about $10,000 per week (saves $20,000)

FETWW Advice:  Look for something softer to hit next time.



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Rafa Marquez (NY Red Bulls) – Never wash your dirty linen in public Senor Marquez.  Rafa Marquez has been suspended by NY and rightly so because of public criticism of a teammate. Hans Backe took the extraordinary and rightful decision to suspend the Designated Player this week.  Marquez publicly criticized, young US defender Tim Ream by stating, “Tim is still a young player with a lot to learn,” Márquez said. “He still has quite a lot to learn, and well, he has committed errors that are very infantile and cost us goals.”  Nice way to help a young lad develop Rafa!  Surely you were young once and made futile and infantile mistakes.  Hans Backe & NY Red Bulls, I take my hat off to you making this decision. Earns $90,000 per week (saves $180,000).

FETWW Advice: Shut your trap, Rafa! FACT!
Breno (Bayern Munich) – Have you heard the one about the lad who set fire to his own house?  Brazilian born Breno, who plies his trade in Germany, with Bayern joins his captain Phillip Lahm in the honor role. Authorities arrested the 21 year old, Breno last Wednesday as he was supposed to have caused nearly a million Euros worth of damage to his home.   The young lad was alone in the house as his wife and three young children were not home. He managed to escape and went to the hospital to get treated for smoke inhalation.  Poor lad must not be doing too well every week, getting paid a handsome figure from one of Europe’s top clubs. He has to go and get charged with suspected grave arson. Earns $50,000 per week ($100,000)
FETWW - Never let kids play with matches


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Frank Lampard (Chelsea) – The 3rd Chelsea personnel to obtain FETWW accolades this season is none other than Frank Lampard. Villa- Boas complained about Stoke, Fernando missed a complete sitter against United and now Fat Frank spits his dummy out of the pram. So, late in the game against Swansea, AVB decides to put Josh MacEachern into the game with only 7 minutes remaining. Chelsea is leading 3-1 at the time and the game looks done and dusted.  Lampard takes offence to AVB’s decision not to play him and decides to walk down the tunnel to the changing room. Talk about being professional Frank, there was certainly no evidence here. We know that your better days are behind you and that you are going to have to work hard for your spot on the team, but what a great way to show respect to your team, coach and fans.  I think long gone are the days you used to kiss your badge. You could be kissing goodbye to Stamford Bridge very, very soon.  Earns about $200,000 per week (saves $400,000).

FETWW Advice:  You can always go and play for your Uncle Harry at Spurs



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    Colm Hamill

    Diehard Man United fan, born and raised in Belfast, received his college education in England and been living in the United States since 2003.

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