This week we had “real” football back and not that stuff they call football at international level. I would like to fine international football but I don’t have time for that. I watched the first half of the West Ham and Man Utd game before I had to leave for work. Only for the belief that my team would come back as the did a decade ago against Spurs (3-0 down at the half and won 5-3), they could have been an early candidate for the FETWW club.
If you think I have missed anything please add your banter below or you feel that something during the week catches your attention that deserves the FETWW treatment then email Colm@soccerbanter.org
If you think I have missed anything please add your banter below or you feel that something during the week catches your attention that deserves the FETWW treatment then email Colm@soccerbanter.org

THE FA – For many a year the ‘F’ word has been involved in this beautiful game and it’s not only in England but all over the world. It’s probably the only word apart from football (well apart from this great land, where we call it soccer) that everyone knows and it doesn’t even get translated. You see it and hear it week in week out. Wayne Rooney hasn’t had the best of seasons and on Saturday bangs in a hat-trick with aplomb and in the heat of the moment says ‘F’ not once, but twice…..oooooooooohhhh.
The lad immediately apologized, but now the FA take it one step further. Trevor Brooking, Director of the FA, I mean what other jobs can you do now Trev, you are boring and just because it was against your beloved club states "Tomorrow there will be a decision," he told BBC Radio 5 Live's Sportsweek programme. "It was a surprise, after scoring a hat-trick, to react that way. It is something we will have to look at." This is the world we live in, it’s not nice but I am sure we have all become accustomed to it. I hate Alan “One Medal” Shearer with a passion but have to agree with what he said on BBC’s Match of the Day. “The lad has apologized, let’s forget about it and move on”, mentioned Shearer. FA you deserve this nomination this week, so $500,000 per week (saves $1 million)
The lad immediately apologized, but now the FA take it one step further. Trevor Brooking, Director of the FA, I mean what other jobs can you do now Trev, you are boring and just because it was against your beloved club states "Tomorrow there will be a decision," he told BBC Radio 5 Live's Sportsweek programme. "It was a surprise, after scoring a hat-trick, to react that way. It is something we will have to look at." This is the world we live in, it’s not nice but I am sure we have all become accustomed to it. I hate Alan “One Medal” Shearer with a passion but have to agree with what he said on BBC’s Match of the Day. “The lad has apologized, let’s forget about it and move on”, mentioned Shearer. FA you deserve this nomination this week, so $500,000 per week (saves $1 million)

Mohammed Al Fayed – This man is a breathe of fresh of air to owners of football clubs. He used to own the world famous Harrods, he could have been the soon to be King of England’s step-grandfather and he just gets on with life. This nomination goes to Al Fayed because of the statue he erected outside Craven Cottage! You go to Old Trafford, you see the Holy Trinity of Best, Law and Charlton, you go to Anfield you see Bill Shankly, you got to Elland Road and you see Billy Bremner. You head down to Craven Cottage and you see Michael Jackson, yes Michael ‘bloody’ Jackson. What has he done for Fulham? Now people may know that I wasn’t a fan of Wacko Jacko but this defies logic. Mohammed Al Fayed said, “People who don’t like the statue can go to hell.” Nice! What’s next Justin Bieber at Stamford Bridge? Al Fayed welcome to FETWW - $250,000 (saves $500,000)

Mario Balotelli – So in a career so young, this lad has had his string of controversies. Balotelli is not all there. He was playing for Inter and was seen out numerous times in Milan wearing a AC jersey! He then decided to throw his Inter jersey to the floor as he was booed in a Champions League game against Barcelona. This week, much in the same vein as Ashley Cole and his air rifle incident Balotelli was trying to hit a youth player with darts. Darts? Yes darts, those pointy things that could pierce the skin. So for endangering the lives of youth players trying to make it where Balotelli is now, the ciddy strikers finds himself joining fellow Italian Fabio Capello on the FETWW role of honor - $160,000 ( saves $320,000).

Ajax Directors/ Johan Cruyff – I think the Ajax directors have just fined themselves two weeks wages after they resigned for not being able to come to agreement with Cruyff on certain issues on how the club should be run. At the same time no player and in this case ex-player is bigger than the club (well Eric Cantona may have a case). Cruyff is merely an advisor to the club and his status has unnerved the directors. I don’t really know which way to go on this one so both get nominated to the FETWW. I would say roughly $1million per week ($2million saved).