This edition of FETWW begins with a rant that explains what should not be involved in football. FULL STOP or PERIOD as they say over here. This week’s nominations include a lowlife, a druggie, butterfingers and an African with a great left foot and a crazy mind. Two players were very close to getting on the list. Anyone heard of the boy bought for $75 million and couldn’t score. Well he eventually did against the worst team in the league (you know the team at the bottom of the league). His name translates to English as Fred Tower. But I spared his big Spanish blushes. The other was nominated a few weeks back and it wasn’t because he celebrated in front of United fans at Wembley. The young Italian who can’t put a bib (piney in the US) on, can’t seem to park his car in the right place. His car has been impounded 27 times since he arrived in Manchester at a cost of $17,500. But there are some other deserved nominees. If you disagree with my selections or feel there is something I have missed, add a comment or email me at email@example.com.
Rangers Idiot – What happened this week has no place in football. And I mean no place. I am a Catholic from Belfast, Northern Ireland and I am not a fan of Celtic. What happened in Scotland this week is disgusting. Reports were rife a few weeks back that one Catholic ex-player now Celtic manager, Neil Lennon, who has represented Northern Ireland and two of his current club players Niall McGinn and Paddy McCourt (who currently represent Northern Ireland) received bullets in the mail. Strange that someone who probably supports these two young lads at Windsor Park and not at Celtic Park was involved in this disgusting act. Recently, the Celtic manager, Neil Lennon had a letter bomb posted to him. This is the man who quit playing for “his country” due to sectarian abuse. All this is a result of people who have no intention of enjoying this beautiful game and just wanting to maim and potentially kill. What place does sectarian abuse and death threats have in soccer. Now I know some Rangers fans and although some of them would love to have been where Ally McCoist was a few weeks ago (and go one step further and hit Lennon) but surely these fans would not have wanted to put a death threat on someone very passionate about his team. I am sure Lennon (Steve Davis, David Healy, Kyle Lafferty currently at Rangers also) is as guilty as any Catholic or Protestant from Northern Ireland by singing Republican or Loyalist songs that are very sectarian, because if they deny it they are complete and utter liars! I understand people are passionate about their team but some small minded individual went way over the top. To threaten someone’s life is the lowest of the low. I am sure the person who sent the letter bomb is probably unemployed and claiming off the government. He or she is the scum of the earth. So it’s very had to fine somebody who gets nothing but let’s guess – fined $50 (saves $100).
Sergio Ramos (Real Madrid) – Okay so it’s the first trophy that Real Madrid has won under Jose Mourinho. So what do you not want to do? Drop it from an open top bus! Correct but Senor Ramos did just that. After beating Barcelona 1-0 in the Copa Del Rey Final, thanks to Cristiano Ronaldo’s goal, the Los Merengues decided to do what you usually do when you win a trophy (Man City please take note its been 35 years!!!) – Go on an open top bus journey around Madrid. Sergio Ramos made Iker Casillas feel safe in goal, when he dropped the Copa Del Rey on the ground from the height of an open top bus (24 feet anyone?) and to make matters worse the bus ran over the old trophy and destroyed it. Sergio you just got the dreaded vote of confidence from the FETWW board. Welcome to the club…. You idiot! Fined $125,000 (saved $250,000). I just hope Stoke win the FA Cup next month, as certain young Italian may make a second appearance on FETWW.
Gino Coutinho (ADO Den Haag) – This is the second nomination for the Eredivise club. Lex Immers made the second ever list of nominees. Now his team mate, Coutinho has joined him. Not happy with earning a living playing soccer, good old Gino decides to, wait for it…..create his own cannabis factory. BRILLIANT. Now there are young kids everywhere who have not made the grade because they have suffered a serious injury are fuming with this boy. He has it made as a professional soccer player, getting paid for what we would all have loved to have done in our lifetime and he decides that he wants to make more money by producing money. As Mase said, Mo Money, Mo Problems! It wasn’t a small cannabis factory it was a major factory that Coutinho had created. The 28-year-old denied his involvement despite being on the scene, with his partner, when officers raided and he continued to maintain that stance even after it was discovered to be registered in his name. The story gets better Coutinho’s dad was arrested in March for large-scale hemp cultivation. Now fining him two weeks wages pails into insignificance with his 12 month jail term and his potential loss of career. Welcome to the club. Saves $50,000 ($100,000).
Taye Taiwo (Marseille) – Now I liked this kid when I saw him in the Olympics a few years back playing for Nigeria. He was able to get up and down the field and had a great left peg on him. People were calling him the African Roberto Carlos. He went to Marseille and hasn’t really hit the headlines until he went crazy last week. Now Marseille and Paris Saint Germain are huge rivals and are probably two of the biggest names in French Football. They are like Liverpool & Man Utd, Glentoran & Linfield, Fenerbache & Galatasaray, Benfica & Sporting, okay so you get my drift. Taiwo playing and scoring the winner in the French Cup Final against Montpellier made his feelings well and truly felt in an expletive-laden blast at the boys from the French capital. He later apologized saying that he was euphoric in victory and was overcome with elation by singing with the fans. Let’s think of this Marseille & PSG have had to play their games behind closed doors this season due to fan disturbances. Do you think Taiwo helped this situation? Of course not! Not only did Taiwo get a two game ban, but he has been officially nominated to the FETWW honor list. Fined $75,000 (saves $150,000).