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Much has been said about the way that Stoke City play, but it can’t be said that they don’t get the job done. United, Chelsea and Liverpool have gone to the Britannia Stadium and have failed to win. They don’t play beautiful football, but they do enough to get a result. As a result, Messrs Ferguson, Villa-Boas and Dalglish have all complained about the style of play, but it is getting Stoke points and in the case of Liverpool, 3 points.  There has also been talk from some managers, that international friendlies are useless. I totally agree. International football kills the soccer calendar in Europe, but here in the States they let there international players go and carry on. Fair play to them.  Another thing that annoyed me this week, was Colleen Rooney’s Twitter post on Friday night. Now I am an advocate of Twitter, but Colleen lets keep what you and Wazza are doing on a Friday night before a game between yourselves.

Back to this week’s award winners.

Alex Lawless (Luton Town) – Give me an I, a D, an I, an O a T, what does it spell. Yes you guessed it: Idiot. So Alex Lawless who plays for non-league Luton Town was so annoyed this past weekend during half-time of his team’s game against former team, York City, he did not re-appear for the second half. Why? I hear you ask. He broke his hand by punching a wall during the interval.  I understand the passion that these players have, but to know that if you punch the wall hard enough, you will injure yourself.  He has ruled himself out of contention for a place for a month or maybe more. Nice way to endear yourself to your fans, but not so your teammates.  Earns about $10,000 per week (saves $20,000)

FETWW Advice:  Look for something softer to hit next time.



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Rafa Marquez (NY Red Bulls) – Never wash your dirty linen in public Senor Marquez.  Rafa Marquez has been suspended by NY and rightly so because of public criticism of a teammate. Hans Backe took the extraordinary and rightful decision to suspend the Designated Player this week.  Marquez publicly criticized, young US defender Tim Ream by stating, “Tim is still a young player with a lot to learn,” Márquez said. “He still has quite a lot to learn, and well, he has committed errors that are very infantile and cost us goals.”  Nice way to help a young lad develop Rafa!  Surely you were young once and made futile and infantile mistakes.  Hans Backe & NY Red Bulls, I take my hat off to you making this decision. Earns $90,000 per week (saves $180,000).

FETWW Advice: Shut your trap, Rafa! FACT!
Breno (Bayern Munich) – Have you heard the one about the lad who set fire to his own house?  Brazilian born Breno, who plies his trade in Germany, with Bayern joins his captain Phillip Lahm in the honor role. Authorities arrested the 21 year old, Breno last Wednesday as he was supposed to have caused nearly a million Euros worth of damage to his home.   The young lad was alone in the house as his wife and three young children were not home. He managed to escape and went to the hospital to get treated for smoke inhalation.  Poor lad must not be doing too well every week, getting paid a handsome figure from one of Europe’s top clubs. He has to go and get charged with suspected grave arson. Earns $50,000 per week ($100,000)
FETWW - Never let kids play with matches


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Frank Lampard (Chelsea) – The 3rd Chelsea personnel to obtain FETWW accolades this season is none other than Frank Lampard. Villa- Boas complained about Stoke, Fernando missed a complete sitter against United and now Fat Frank spits his dummy out of the pram. So, late in the game against Swansea, AVB decides to put Josh MacEachern into the game with only 7 minutes remaining. Chelsea is leading 3-1 at the time and the game looks done and dusted.  Lampard takes offence to AVB’s decision not to play him and decides to walk down the tunnel to the changing room. Talk about being professional Frank, there was certainly no evidence here. We know that your better days are behind you and that you are going to have to work hard for your spot on the team, but what a great way to show respect to your team, coach and fans.  I think long gone are the days you used to kiss your badge. You could be kissing goodbye to Stamford Bridge very, very soon.  Earns about $200,000 per week (saves $400,000).

FETWW Advice:  You can always go and play for your Uncle Harry at Spurs



 
 
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After a few weeks of self-imposed absence FETWW is BACK!!!!!!  There have been a few “odd ones” happening all over this beautiful world of soccer over the last few weeks. But let’s just concentrate on this past week.   There are still plenty of fans that are wanting the head of Arsene Wenger, even though he is not my favorite coach, I think Arsenal need to stick with him.  I suppose Inter Milan gave their coach a little bit of time – 5 games, Moratti are you kidding me? Come on Man!!!!! Strange things can also happen in football, Real Madrid can be beaten by Levante, Arsenal can be beaten by Blackburn, whose manager is treading some very thin ice himself and somebody else can win the league in Scotland except Celtic or Rangers.  Well the last one isn’t true! I figure you guessed that one.  This week’s first nomination and addition to the FETWW role of honor is…………………

Alex McLeish ( Aston Villa Manager) – Big ‘Eck as he is formally know in the world of soccer, was probably the worst choice of manager Randy Lerner could have chosen to become their new manager (after all he comes from their biggest rival, Birmingham City).  Okay so he hasn’t lost that much this season, but at the same time wins have been few and far between.  My mate, who is probably Villa’s biggest fan (although he comes from Walsall) has been going at it for weeks now that McLeish should not be given another minute in the job.  I am starting to sympathize with Villa and their fans because McLeish is not the answer, just like O’Leary wasn’t, Atkinson wasn’t Venglos wasn’t. The list is endless but the current boss is the first recipient of the FETWW award this week   Earns about $50,000 per week (saves $100,000)

FETWW Advice: In the immortal words of Mr. Billiard – McLeish OUT!!!!



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Fernando Torres (Chelsea) – Now everyone has been handing the abuse out to El Nino these past few months and let me just say, its well deserved. He leaves a team that adores him (remember on his Atletico Madrid armband it said “You’ll Never Walk Alone”), a team that will have them in his folklore until BOOM, $80 millions transfer to Chelsea sends those dreams out the window.  Let’s get back to modern day actions. He scores his first goal of the season (one I didn’t see because my bloody stream went down) against Man. United but the one he missed was shocking, probably a miss that will haunt him the rest of his life. I was all set to rip into our defense when suddenly El Nino slots it wide. Let off, I admit but the striker that is classed as one of the best in the world misses an easy chance that.   Earns $200,000 per week (saves $400,000)

FETWW Advice: Enjoy the re-runs with Ronnie Rosenthal and Ryan Giggs sitters


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Lukasz Piszczek (Borussia Dortmund) – Match fixing does not belong in any sport whatsoever. This lad was charged with match fixing that went on in 2006 while he was playing in Zagelbie Lubin. Thing is that the lad only got banned for a year from Polish football. He now plays in Germany. So that means he got away with it.  He was ordered to pay $47,000 to a Polish orphanage for his misdemeanors. This message puts out that it’s okay to match fix and he will only be banned from the country he committed the crime in. Surely FIFA and UEFA need to get involved and get this boy banned around world football! Earns about $50,000 per week (saves about $100,000)

FETWW Advice: Throw the book at him UEFA



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Charlie Adam (Liverpool) – This is the exact same reason why he was honored last season, while playing for Blackpool. Last season he wasn’t even booked for it, but after watching the replays, he should have walked after the tackle on Gareth Bale. This season it was the same opponents but with a different team.  He went in very dangerously on Scott Parker and ran his cleats down Parker’s shin.  Needless to say he received his second booking and was subsequently sent-off after only 28 minutes.  Spurs then went on to thump Liverpool 4-0. The result made me happy, but not one of the other guys at Soccer Banter! Earns about $100,000 per week (saves $200,000)

FETWW Advice – Clean up your act ya dirty scouser